All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
