4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
