Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
