thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize