2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
