you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
