So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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