Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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