why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
