Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
