rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it was like eating out sand paper
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
