help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
