well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He did a backflip because drugs
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
