In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize