He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
