shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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