also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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