I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
