i think i have herpe
just one?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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