So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
