I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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