Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Randomize
