He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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