Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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