i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
