Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
