It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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