Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
