3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
