u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
