Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
