Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
