So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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