question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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