Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
