singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
