so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
