Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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