It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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