New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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