That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
there is puke in my bra ... again
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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