I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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