no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
