Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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