Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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