I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
