If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Randomize
