Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.