He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff