Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.