somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.