there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.