I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
