we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
