dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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