broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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