Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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