this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
