I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
