My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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