do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
