yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
