i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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