I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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