you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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