Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
