I accidentally had phone sex last night
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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