was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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