I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
