you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
