All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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