Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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