i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
