Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
